Kris : My Words

♥ 03 January 2008

2007 came and gone in a puff. Especially the ending of 2007, it went with a BANG! I lost my granny on the 30th Dec 2007. Of course, Im sad but part of me is relieve for granny. It had been a turbulent year with many ups and downs but mainly downs for her.

I lost my 4th Uncle at the start of Dec 2007. Then grandma was rushed to the hospital in mid Dec. She did not had any illnesses. She is old. TO be exact how old.... hmmm we dont really know. Rumour has it tat she is 92 and some said she is 90. As a immigrant from China, they often lie on their age upon arriving... so, sadly i really dont know. But she left us at a golden age and thats for sure. While she was in the hospital, we then realised that the ungrateful youngest son of my granny (whom i no longer call him my uncle) sold the house without information any of us and did an disappearing act on us.... we were left to clear the house with immediate notice and we then realised that with granny in the hospital, if she did really recover, she would not have a home to go to. Many its a blessing in disguise that she went without having to bear the pain of facing the truth. That she is homeless.... Old as she is, how she used to dote on that JERK, I cant believe anyone is heartless enough to wait for his own mother to die or leave the house eventually to sell the house away. To think, granny used to defend this useless bum so much and dotes on him so much and insist on putting his name with hers when grand-dad died 10 years ish ago. We should have listen to grand dad and put someone elses name with the flat... at least, the outcome today will be different. At least, granny would have die with a house to her name today.

The last past 1 week happen so fast and so painless. We had our cries in the hospital when we see the tubes and state granny was in. The doc said she had an heart attack while she was in the hospital. Perhaps her heart is collapsing. We knows these years, her organs were failing. Her hearing and eyesight has gone rapidly through the last 5 years. Her kidneys had failed too for the last 1.5 years. Her legs are often swollen from the water retention. She dont walk around anymore. All she do all day is sit on her chair in her room or lie on the bed. On good days, she will asked the maid to help her to the living room so she can hear the TV which is often on so loud.... Granny loves her TV (mental note, burn her a good telly... flat screen with HD) She loves her fillet O fish from Mac too... But as the funeral is vegetarian, Im very much tempted to smuggle in a Fillet O fish for her... so she can have her last bite of Mac. She died without much struggled or grasping.... her heart rate had fallen from a healthy 90 ish to a 20 ish within 10 mins. Several of us were at the old house clearing out the loss end for the new owners and didnt manage to see her 1 last chance. BUt at least we were with her the last moment of the last few days. Everyone manage to come back in time. Even me.

I had only come back for xmas break and hoping to do some dissertation work as well. But turns out, it was my last time seeing my granny. Of course i was devastated that she has to go so fast. I had soo much plans. I had hope that granny can see me grad in July... well at least know that even though she cant be there and see me get married.... Well, she is human afterall... Sadly she cant last forever and be with me forever.

To Granny:

Gone were the days when you give us 'chicken in a biskuit'
Gone were the days when you buy us chocolate in a tin.
Im sorry I did not go see you often.
Im sorry that If i hadnt took a year break, I'll be grad by now.
If only I was more hardworking.
Granny,
Im sorry you have to leave us so fast.
Im sorry things has to end this way for you.
But no fear, You still have all our houses and flats you can go to.
You still have a bunch of crazy children, grandchildren and great grandchildren who loves you so much.

This saturday will be the day you have to leave us forever.
I understand that no ones lives forever.
But you will be etched into our heart forever.
Thank you for saving me from the canes of my mom when my sister and I were young.

Rest well and till we meet again..... I love you.

Love,
ur grand-daughter, Qing Liu.

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